Donkeyblog Donkeyshines is the Land of Absurd T-shirts!

September 25, 2009

Faker and Teela

Filed under: Artwork,Donkeyshines Origins — Tags: , , , , , — Ryan Klemek @ 8:30 am

A friend of mine commissioned this piece as a birthday gift for his girlfriend. From a technical standpoint, it is not my tightest painting. However, because of the nostalgia for the subject matter, I am pretty happy with the overall content.

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Faker, the robotic He-man impostor created by Skeletor, was quite a preposterous character. While his build and features were a dead-on likeness to He-man, his blue skin, orange hair, and visible Vader-like control panel on his chest made him a less than convincing decoy. In this painting, I like to think that Teela is fully aware that the man kissing her is Faker, but plans to play dumb so she can’t be blamed for cheating on He-man. Clearly, Faker is the better lover. The theme and composition of this piece is actually based on an old Christmas card, which is equally racy:

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There’s no excuse for Santa’s behavior here. At least Teela and He-man weren’t married. Also, Faker IS actually supposed to be a villain. But children look up to Santa, and this is a poor example he’s setting. Anyway, I’m sure he got a frying pan to the back of the head when he came home that night. Who knew the Easter Bunny was such a home-wrecker!

September 18, 2009

Robot Penguin Hoodies Have Arrived!

So it took a bit longer than expected, but the Robot Penguin Hoodies are finally ready and available to buy! Here’s what they look like:

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I am pretty happy with the way they came out! The design is nice and big, and the silver ink is especially shiny! I lucked out when Printmojo told me my original choice for blanks was no longer available, as I really love these Independent Trading Co. Standard Supply sweatshirts. They are nice and soft, they fit well, and the sleeves are a perfect length. The Robot Penguin Hoodies are printed on a unisex style, sizes Xsmall all the way up through XXlarge. We suggest the Xmall for the petite ladies out there, as the these run somewhat big. And here’s the best part…

For a limited time (til the end of September), you can get these shiny Robot Penguin Hoodies for the redonkelous intro price of $29.99! Yes, you heard me right! For about two weeks, you can get these for $5 more than the cost of a t-shirt! But then even the “real” price is pretty damn good. Starting October 1, they will go up to a measly $34.99.

Oh, one other thing I should mention. I only printed 102 of these things!  I already took one for me, one for the wife, and one for sis, so that means there are only 99 of these left to buy! If ya want one, ya better hurry, cuz I currently have no plans for a second run!

September 10, 2009

A Few More Story Premises

Filed under: Story Premises — Tags: — Ryan Klemek @ 1:12 pm

I’m not sure if these are as good as some of the past ones, but I figured I’d post them:

  1. A birdwatcher comes across a purple bear cub in the woods.
  2. Due to strange coincidences, Martha is starting to believe that her daughter’s imaginary friend is actually the ghost of her deceased husband. The only problem is that the imaginary friend happens to be a woman! Desperate for answers, Martha tracks down an old witch doctor that claims he can perform post-corporeal trans-gender operations on spirits who ask for them.
  3. In an attempt to ruin Easter, an atheist candy maker begins making his chocolate bunnies out of real rabbits. When The Pope gets wind of this, he sends his two top Swiss Guard Assassins to stop him. The two skilled professionals are confident they can take out their target, but they foresee a much greater challenge in the mission. Will they be able to share a hotel room without giving in to the uncontrollable lust they feel for each other?
  4. Coach Jenkins discovers that his star basketball player is a former genie. There are no rules against genies playing, but this one happens to be 600 years old and the school charter states that varsity athletes must be under the age of 18. The situation gets even worse when the team captain of the rival school finds the abandoned lamp and plots to put the genie back in it. Jenkins devises an overly complex plan, and sends the rest of his players to deal with the other team. Meanwhile, the coach attempts to charm the beautiful, but humorless school board director so he can convince her to change the age limitation clause. His plan backfires, though, when the director becomes completely obsessed with him. She decides to help the rival captain put the genie back in the lamp, hoping she can make the coach fall in love with her by using one of her three wishes.
  5. A blind man is able to fool the admissions officer of a flight school and begins taking flying lessons. He runs into trouble, however, when they don’t allow his seeing-eye dog on the plane for his first solo flight.
  6. A family of ducks moves into an in-ground swimming pool of a suburban Connecticut home. The human family that lives there thinks the ducks are adorable until one day they look out to see the ducks surrounding the dead body of their next door neighbor.
  7. When a mummy visits a museum, the curator thinks he’s part of an exhibit that is trying to escape. The curator captures the mummy and seals him in a glass case. That night, the mummy witnesses the murder of a night watchman by a masked intruder. He must find a way to get out of his glass prison and solve the crime.
  8. The devil tries to go straight and opens up a sausage shop in a small town. His secret blend of spices wins over the locals right away. However, when a tourist comes down with a case of salmonella and dies, the Feds think Satan is up to his old tricks. They plan a sting operation, and it’s up to the devil’s new loyal customers to clear his name before he gets deported back to hell.

September 3, 2009

Fall and Beyond

So after taking many more months than I expected to complete the Black Cats painting, I suddenly find myself confronted with my least favorite season: The fall. Where did summer go? Perhaps it seemed short because June  behaved like April. Many people I know are glad to see the blistering days of August go, and are looking forward to the mild temperatures and the changing of the leaves. I’m not exactly sure why it is that I can’t get on board with this.  As a cyclist, I prefer the extreme heat of summer to the wind and rain of the fall, but it isn’t just about the weather. Or the shrinking of daylight. For me there’s also this conditioned emotional response to the coming of September, which I associate with the beginning of the school year. Now, I have not been a student for many years, but as the crickets began to chirp in mid-August, I still get that feeling of anxiety that comes with vanishing freedom. When you are in school, summer is about freedom and fall is about the end of that freedom. Of course there was also excitement, triggered by the purchase of new school clothes, and an attempt at a fresh start. There may be new pretty girls in your class, or at least ones that don’t remember how dorky you were last year. They won’t recognize you with your new carpenter jeans rolled up to your ankle, and your carefully blow-dried and gelled mullet. Anyway, now that I am happily married, the nostalgia of the “new hot girl possibilities” has vanished, but for some reason the anxiety of the “end of freedom” still lingers.

Usually, I just sort of suffer through the fall, but this year I decided to give myself reasons to look forward to it. As a guy who loves to design and wear t-shirts, I was always sad when summer ended and I had to cover them up with more layers. That is why I decided to make my own layers! Just yesterday, I finally put it that order for Robot Penguin hoodies. I thought this design worked well on a full zip sweatshirt, with each penguin on one side of the zipper. They tell me that these could be ready within a week and a half, but they could take a bit longer. I’m printing on Independent Trading Co blanks, and this is a new vendor for Printmojo. I won’t mind too much if it takes two weeks or longer, I’ll just be excited to get them!

Of course, when fall becomes winter, even a hoodie must hide under an insulated jacket. However, nothing has to cover up a toasty winter knit cap! That is why I am printing the Donkey Pegasus on a stylish, 100% acrylic hat. The garment with be black because black goes with everything, and stands out  against the snow. I’m going to use embroidery instead of screen printing, and I am trying to choose between metallic gold or silver thread.

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While the silver is more subtle, I was thinking it might be nice to go with gold this time. If you have a preference, tweet me your vote!

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